___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Obama's Chief of Staff, Rahm Emanuel, most well known for his rapid-fire temper, his foul language and his Sopranos'-style political diplomacy, reportedly has a squishy side few could imagine. According to an anonymous source close to the Obama Administration, Fracturedrepublic.com can reveal evidence that suggests "Rahmbo", as recently as March, 2009 was actively taking part in what is arguably the most insipid, and least celebrated sport in America today… the sport is weasel Jell-O wrestling.
In a sport too mild to even be in PETA's over-reaching radar, Emanuel has not only bought and sold these animals, but has raised and trained them on his weasel ranch in upstate New York for the past 18 -23 years. These animals live in luxury dining on caviar and bacon flavored cheese-whiz while being trained for the sport some say leaves the poor weasels out of breath for minutes at a time.
While the physical shape of the animals is generally good and their needs are attended to, there are many who have been trying to get the sport of weasel Jell-O wrestling banned or, at the very least regulated by the Federal Government since it first arrived on the Jersey shores with Russian immigrants in 1975. Weasel Jell-O Wrestling has been a favorite in Russian culture, trumping even Russian Bear competitive tap-dance since Michael Gorbachev was in power.
Ralphie Constantine, speaking on behalf of the Society for the Protection of Weasel Well-Being in a campaign called VOW or, "Voice of the Weasels" had this to say, "Our issue with the sport is clear. Weasels are a very dignified animal. There is no greater psychological harm a weasel can undergo than when his dignity is stolen by thoughtless people in search of cheap entertainment. These poor creatures are subjected to psychological abuse and embarrassment that… uhh… leaves them unable to find love
In a sport too mild to even be in PETA's over-reaching radar, Emanuel has not only bought and sold these animals, but has raised and trained them on his weasel ranch in upstate New York for the past 18 -23 years. These animals live in luxury dining on caviar and bacon flavored cheese-whiz while being trained for the sport some say leaves the poor weasels out of breath for minutes at a time.
While the physical shape of the animals is generally good and their needs are attended to, there are many who have been trying to get the sport of weasel Jell-O wrestling banned or, at the very least regulated by the Federal Government since it first arrived on the Jersey shores with Russian immigrants in 1975. Weasel Jell-O Wrestling has been a favorite in Russian culture, trumping even Russian Bear competitive tap-dance since Michael Gorbachev was in power.
Ralphie Constantine, speaking on behalf of the Society for the Protection of Weasel Well-Being in a campaign called VOW or, "Voice of the Weasels" had this to say, "Our issue with the sport is clear. Weasels are a very dignified animal. There is no greater psychological harm a weasel can undergo than when his dignity is stolen by thoughtless people in search of cheap entertainment. These poor creatures are subjected to psychological abuse and embarrassment that… uhh… leaves them unable to find love
Gordon Greene - May 31, 2009
The Capuchin pictured above was rescued by Ralphie Constantine of The Society for the Protection of Weasel Well-Being .
He is now volunteer spokes-monkey for VOW (Voice of the Weasels).
He is now volunteer spokes-monkey for VOW (Voice of the Weasels).
You Had Me at Jell-O
Telling All The Lies the
Big Boys Won't!
Big Boys Won't!
If we don't make it up...
Who will?
Who will?
ALL THE NEWS THAT'S FIT TO BE TAKEN OUT OF CONTEXT
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________